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Sean Kerr
Dead Camp 2
Sean Kerr

The sweetest taboo.

Too Close To Love: Loving, Book 1 - M.A. Innes

This was recommended to me by a friend and they assured me it was not as naughty as it sounded. I was sceptical but I trust them. Then I read the blurb and cursed my friend because clearly they don’t know me. So first I was like Loretta on Ronny ~

gif cher snap out of it

 

Then I started reading and the story had such a sweet tooth, two bros realise the loving they have for one another is real and not just because at 14 the younger bro was nearly kidnapped and the older bro saved him as he fought the bad guy off. They each think that the other bro is the hero and then because of the nightmares, and because a therapist told their parents to let them, they start sleeping together and they’re still doing it 4 years later. Honies, let me tell all, I was sucked in like a lollipop in a celebrity’s mouth.

 

dem lollipops

 

Ohemgee, they say the cutest things to each otther: “I love you. You know that, right? And not like—you know…like regular.” My eyes teared up and I reached over and put my hand on his leg. I could feel his body vibrating, and I knew how hard it had been to say it. “I know. I love you, too. And who cares what regular is?” Me to Kevin and Jeremy: Mebe the authorities? But they’re such downers, you know? Because, for real, I don’t care. I want to see how you two adorkables make it in the big bad world with your swoony sweetness.  “No, like actually hold you. Like…” This time I blushed. “Like touch you and stuff. Not just sit on the couch all PG and shit.” “Like PG-13 or R?” Kevin grinned, and I could tell he was liking how dysfunctional I was becoming. Me to you: Totally dysfunctional but we’ve established that I don’t care so keep going with your love of the word like and your PG R rating.

 

cuties cuddling in bed

 

 

Kevin. Jeremy. You may be incestuous but, you guys, you’re SO totes romantically adorkable!  People always hoped their secret crush would want them too one day—Jeremy had made me watch a thousand sappy old movies with that storyline—but it never happened in real life. But this time…it did.

And that Jeremy, he’s such a planner~ he has money saved and he’s organised college out of town and their scholarships, plus their own apartment for when the ‘rents go bananas. Speaking of the ‘rents, they’re suspicious and keep making a now 18 year old Kevin go back to a new therapist to catch 20 year old Jeremy out as a perv. Me to the parents: You’re pretty sick, Chubbs.  

 

Once Kevin does the Salome towel unveil it’s game over. EV-erything is about that towel drop. “I loved hearing how much you enjoyed it when I dropped my towel. Did you like seeing my ass on display just for you?” AND~ “You were so hot, you little tease.” He arched up again and pressed his hard cock against my leg. “When you dropped that towel and your ass was right there, I thought I’d explode. I was afraid you’d see how hard my dick was.”

Tyler Posey towel

Jeremy and Kevin sneak out of home, permanently, and their dad is pretty indifferent about his sons sneaking off for good. The new therapist is weirdly cool with it, as in here’s a number for a therapist near the new campus who doesn’t mind abnormal relationships. Say whaaaat?! Too Close to Love made me laugh and I buddy read it partly with a friend. That was fun and waaay better than being squicked the hell out. This book is the sweetest frickin taboo story of all time, I have decay now, but I liked it as a cutie-pie read not so much a sexy one. Whad’yaknow, my friend isn’t in trouble after all. I won’t sic Cher on them. Eh. Mebe I will. 

 

Quick  recap – Kevin and Jeremy are bros who are dreamily and sweetly in love with each other and they run away together, Jeremy is the most planful person alive, they cutely boff each and it ends. Fin. Wrap it up for me Loretta~ 

 

ma i love him awful gif

The Worst Werewolf (The Immutable Moon Book 1) - Jacqueline Rohrbach
Me to you: So I’ve finished this book and I’m like, how do I review this? Like, seriously, how?! Help. Me.
 
 
Okay. I’m calmer now. The first part I’m down with. Cute but unassuming hot gay nerd who doesn’t know he’s a cutie is seeking online guy who might be okay.gif online dating profileMaybe he won’t be one of those dating horror stories. Maybe he’ll kinda resemble his profile, the rarest of the rare. Garvey turns up and he IS as hot as his profile pic~ so ominous. Tovin should have known it was the Twilight Zone as soon as he met Garvey. But they go to bar trivia where Tovin considers it winning when two hot women are there and the local guys with patchy facial hair are checking them out, which means the guys will BS for weeks how they “scored” with the hot women, as if, and forget about Tovin for a change.
 .
.
 
Me to Tovin:  Hot guy who matches his profile? Hot women who’ll take the heat off you? Gawd, hon. RUN! Too many planets are lining up. Say you’re going to reapply your CoverGirl Lippy and jump out the bathroom window!!
 ,
,
Of course no one listens to me, so Tovin ends up in the woods, and it’s baaaad. He’s set upon by ants and bugs GIF I HATE NATUREand rocks, horrid things nature throws at you. Here’s one more tip from the LeeBeMe handbook~ don’t go into nature. Nothing good EVER comes from that. Three strikes: Profile pic matching and he’s built, women to take the hick’s minds of you, and a guy who wants to fuck in the woods. If he’s a catch he’ll find a room, maybe a bed. I hate to be picky but comfort and no bugs up your anus counts gazillions. Trust me. It gets worse when Garvey tells Tovin that the dogs howling in the background are really werewolves, that he’s a werewolf, that Tovin’s going to be a bloodslave for a werewolf. Da hell you say?! Online dating can be tricky if you’re unprepared. If he’d listened to me he’d have run, not to be a bitch and all, just sayin’.
 
 
Lots of lolz in the beginning but shit gets real after that and this is the part where it gets harder to review. Garvey is doing what he’s doing because he’s seen that his wolves, the lesser kind, are going to be culled by other wolves unless he does something. He doesn’t share this info with everyone, his kidnapping teammates aren’t even in the know. He takes Tovin into the woods to mess him up so that he won’t be wanted to present as a bloodslave to an Alpha guardian wolf named Lavario. Lavario’s part of the Varcolac pack but he isn’t Varcolac. He’s from the Isangelous pack, long story, and the leader of the Varcolac pack hates him. But Eresna, Alpha of the Isangelous pack, has plans of her own that involve Mazgan and Tovin and people I prolly don’t know yet. There are waaay too many sneaky shenanigans for me to cover in my review but trust me when I say it’s tricky and sometimes gruesome and all rather brill.
 
 
TWW is some serious paranormal writing about different werewolves living beside each other and humans. They don’t like each other and they see humans as a resource but resources only stretch so far if you set bloodthirsty wolves and vamps on them. IDK how that will all play out but count me in. Garvey jumps around the edges of Teflondifferent packs because he has contempt for pretty much everyone and that suits certain pack members right now. He’s a Moondog which is a werewolf but not high up the order. He’s also Mr. Teflon, nothing sticks to him because he knows how to push just enough to get a rise and then back off so he doesn’t get killed. He’s also got buckets of street smarts and is useful. He’s outrageously lame and funny unless you’re the butt of his jokes, like Tovin is, then it’s kind of unfunny. Poor Tovin just wanted to be spontaneous and interesting because his on and off again bf has pushed him to that I’ll prove him wrong point. He’s got adventure pamphlets like parasailing and spelunking. I went spelunking 4 weeks ago and if you knew me you’d be laughing for days but I did it. I felt great but this whole book is like spelunking on speed for Tovin.
Me to Tovin: You are so much better than your ex because I’d say Marshall or Mitchell, or whatever his douchey name is, would have pissed his pants but you’re faking it till you make it.Tovin IS adorable, Garvey and I agree about that. I asked last review if I could three way with the mcs, am I too obvious if I ask again? Yes? No? Who cares?
 
 
 
 
Outside of Pat Robertson’s blog, if he has one, this has to be the worst blog in the whole world to review this book on, kinda apropos, because Jay’s a perv and I’m sweet cheeks and between us it seems out of place, but when I don’t have my head stuck in text books I read lots of non romance para and fantasy~ ooo, the truth is out there.  If I tell you it’s good paranormal werewolf GIF WEREWOLF SNARLreading, will you take Cocky Reviews and my word? It has queer characters, always good for us queerlings, it’s a bit intense with complications that make it interesting and stretch the grey matter. Garvey’s sexy stuff but he’s too busy being a brat to Tovin, also with semi world domination vamp plans, to actually do anything really sexy. Lovario’s got the whole wise shtick going on. The book gets harsh too so be prepped for that, there will be blood and cranium contortion. There’s a ghost in a blue dress and a bunch of crazy weird happenings nearer the end, and be scared of twenty somethings with the Dewey Decimal System.  I have a feeling the next book will unlock some powerfully good and bad para juju. I’m hoping maybe Garvey will be a teensy bit busy with his sweet treat too, he’s totally into him. I have this gooey spot for pet names and Garvey calling Tovin Sweet Treat is fab, he’d still be a smartass but the name was so melty on his lips when he said it~ “Sweet treat is adorable. Look at him with his big green eyes and blondish-brown hair. Oats and honey.” And this was a promise, a creepy one but I was clapping like Nicole Kidman at the Oscars~ “We’re going to finish this someday, sweet treat. Unless you die. Try not to die.”
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GIF NICOLE KIDMAN CLAPPING
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For now, Garvey twirled the glasses frames in one paw and did something he rarely did. He thought about consequences. He didn’t want Tovin to die. He liked this dopey kid. It was an odd, unexpected realization. Clueless as Tovin was, there was something sweet about him that Garvey wanted to keep in the world. It tugged at a part of his heart he didn’t know existed.

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Aww, Garvey has a heart, you wouldn’t know it but he does. ^^
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GIF PUPPY ROLLING
 
After the first book in the Immutable Moon series I’m in! This book’s got laughs, it’s got lots of characters I like, there’s some nasty parts because it’s written how werewolves would behave if they were real, and pack means a group and whenever you have a group you have politicking. I’ll also reread it to find new stuff I missed this time so The Worst Werewolf gets an A for Awesome or 5 stars.

Down By the Bay.

King of the Sea - Nathan Bay, Daryl Banner

I have a thing for mermen and, ooo, this book has a hottie named Ross. My review is going to be one big shameless spot for sexy mermen and one pic of Ariel because, squeeee, The Little Mermaid!!

 

Carlos is going home to break up with his selfish boyfriend, Tyson, because he made him move away from his familymerman 7 and friends and isolated him from new people, and he’s one cold fish of a doc bf. Carlos is recovering from testicular cancer and while it’s gone he has lingering effects. He’s totally hung up only having one ball, it hurts for him to come and then his boyfriend’s so unloving and Carlos is sad. Oh gawd, I felt so bad for him. :( 

 
On his way home he stops by the water and when he dips his hand in it touches him back. Like, it really reaches out and touches him. Then there are dark eyes. Carlos kind of freaks and drops his phone and stumbles in, next thing he wakes up in the hunky arms of a muscular merman, Ross, and there’s some talking, but whatever, let’s get to the good stuff. There’s some ^waggle waggle^  merman on human hand job action, Ohemgee,  Poseidon does exist! Things are insta hot between Carlos and Ross but, big bummer,  Carlos has to go break up with his douchey bf. Me to Carlos: Noooo, who cares about Dr. Douchebag? No one. For the love of sexy men stay with the hunky merman! 
 
 
Then~~
 
~an argument happens.
~Carlos finds out something shocking, more shocking than the fact that Tyson is a diabolical wanken-franker.
~Oxy isn’t the only reason you black out and see mer and pregnant men.
~Mer have hairless, buff chests that you want to lick, mebe that last part is all me, heh. 
~the twinkyish Burke, you have to read it,  is really a true baby daddy. He also talks too much to Carlos, who should have been doing a bit more.
~the size or lack of size doesn’t mean bad sex unless you’re a size queen, then you have a problem. I kinda made this shit up but small maybe not so functioning cocks? are mentioned. I don’t care because, hellooo baby, fingers and a mouth work. One ball comes up a lot too and one ball loving is really sweet.
~leather bears in a dive bar who have you in a sling aren’t usually this understanding when you wanna take your gorgeous red jock encased cock and ball and vamoose because of inner voices. On 2nd thoughts mebe the bear was a bit worried about the voices. 
 
Red jockstrap
~other stuff happens that I can’t talk about because my lips are sealed.
~Nathan Bay loves the Bay Area and marine life and ecology, IDK this but I think this because of the story, which is most cool.
 
Taking a BIG breath because I got a bit OCD speedy ~
Merman 8
 

Naww. This book is a cutie pattooie with a big ole smooshy heart. Ross was swoony and Carlos was a sweetie naive guy. I wanted to hug them and love them and become a third.  For lovers of gay mermen who come out of the sea to heal us and love us, they’re real, read King of the Sea, it’s shortish and fun and adorbs.

 
He loves me. He loves me not~
 
gif ariel
 
 
The Pro - D.J. Manly

Lee Hastings is a high priced hooker who, boy oh boy I’m going into this biz, gets, like, $2,000 a night for sex. That’s some serious moolah. I liked Lee he’s got a good heart and treats people well but some of his regulars are a bit assholy. Not cool how you want the hotness but you diss it too. Don’t be bitchy.

 

Zach is s cop who drinks a lot because he keeps remembering a case gone bad. Zach is totes obsessed over a bad guy, Labeau, who was responsible for a little girl’s death. The cop wants him locked up as of yesterday but he can’t make that happen which means more drinking and feeling shitty. But a chance happens along by the name of Lee Hastings who’s Labeau’s pretty hooker boytoy.

 

Me to Zach: You are a basic bitch asking Lee to go undercover or you’ll out his clients and stitch him up in business. Bad juju, man. Baaad. It’s not his job to help you out. But I bet you’re thinking how good he’d be in bed, Your gay he’s gay, and aha! knew it, you are thinking about those lips and butt.~ “In your game, you can’t be giving it away for free. So, how much do you charge, anyway, to suck a man’s cock?”  Ooo, and~He walked around to the back, and let out a sharp breath. What an ass, firm, round, absolutely delightful. It had been awhile since he’d seen an ass this nice.
“What are you doing back there, exactly?” Lee snapped.
“Ogling.”

Cause $2,000 a night hookers have nice asses. Dreaming~~

GIF HOT UNDIE ASS

 

Me to Lee: Don’t let Zach psych you out just cause he’s a cop and all alpha with a face & bod for sin, a square jaw and is sadly hot. Sadly hot is one of the hottest kinds, Lee, so listen up. I want you to help. Okay, do it, Lee, Do it!! Work with him and get his hot body and alphaness into you bed.  Gawd, I’m such an easy hypocrite.

 

GIF HYPOCRITE

 

But Lee has his own little perks from hanging with and helping the hot cop~ Fantasising about Zachary Freeman was his little secret, and in its own way, a source of power.

I had fun fun fun reading this saucy cock teasy book~ it takes awhile for Lee and Zach to get it on but it’s worth the sizzle in the pants getting there~ It wasn’t the client he was fucking, it was that damned cop, but Thomas Carter got the ride of his life. Yasss! Lee’s Little Lee may be fucking someone else for his job but Zach’s in his thoughts. Zach falls for the hottie hooker, goes all macho for him, and all is well in my sexy little bookdom bubble. Oh yeah, and they deal with that douchey bad guy while they get it on. 

 

The Pro seems to be an oldie but a goody in mm reading. It doesn’t seem like 110 pages, and I mean that in a it seems like more packed into less good way NOT in an, oh shit, I’m going to age and die reading it way. Maybe you should just grab it yourself.

 

Me to me: Go find some more of this DJ Manly person’s books.

King's Lament - Lilia Blanc

King Inea gets thrown in the castle dungeon by his own councilmen. They’ve told him he’s going to save the country by sacrificing himself to the queen as personal payment: I still couldn’t comprehend it. No. That wasn’t right. I could comprehend. I just didn’t want to. It was too shocking. Yes, we were at war with our neighboring country. We always were. What I couldn’t grasp was the idea that selling out our country to the queen was in our best interests. Not even that! Selling me! 

 

Yeah, councilmen are so full of it but my boy Inea was pretty soft and believed them, didn’t even fight them. I think about being 17 and having to run a country. Not so easy, I guess, so I cut him some slack. Anyways, there’s a guy in the dungeon with keys and access to the whole place but all Inea manages is to get pouty and whiny.

Me to Inea: C’mon, suck it up. Take the keys and suck it up!  

Me to dungeon dude: Leave Inea he’s not sucking it up. But the guy knew Inea’s daddy, the dead king, and respected him for reasons we have to wait for and helps Inea out of a jam.

 

They part and Inea is left to fend for himself and during the 5 months he finds another brave soul willing to take a bullet for him, really it’s take a knife or sword in this story but same diff. Caday and Inea become friends and Caday pledges himself to protect Inea, which is a bitch of a job because the people think King Inea has deserted them. Ansyn, dungeon dude, is a musician, a musician with ninja skills. He travels all the towns singing political songs about King Inea not leaving his people and dissing the queen at the same time. The queen’s pissed,  sends out assassins to kill both Inea and Ansyn, then they both meet up again. Ansyn also pledges himself to Inea and a woman healer, Amalee, a friend of Ansyn, fixes Inea up because he gets stabbed. A lot. He really does in the whole book. Hard times. Everyone in the land’s out to get him because a bounty’s placed on his head by the bitchy queen so they’re a stabby bunch. Inea has to get people rallying around him and Ansyn, Amalee and Caday are the start. One other villager suddenly shows up and also pledges allegiance to Inea, shady bitch: Dae gave me a chilling smile. “You truly are gullible. Just as they said you would be.”

“But that poison is going to be fire in your body until you die screaming and begging for it to be over. Isn’t that nice?”

When Ansyn dispatched Dae with his nasty ninja musician skills I was like~

gif-yas-bitch

 

There’s a bit of wandering and hiding and rallying people to support King Inea in getting his rightful throne. Ansyn also leaves and comes back and leaves and comes back again. Ansyn can’t really leave Inea for long because of his connection with Inea’s dead father.

 

Inea is a Negative Nigel for the a little while, I wanted to shake him and tell him to grow a pair. You do get his vulnerability when you hear about the slack councilmen and about his father’s death but when Ansyn told Inea: “And… you’re welcome. Now stop freaking thanking me or I’ll stuff something in your mouth to get you to shut up.” I agreed with him, Inea would carry on about how undeserving he was that Ansyn came back, which is okay the first 12 times and then it’s, okay! we get it! Ansyn and Inea butt heads. Ansyn butts heads with Caday. Inea and Kadeon butt heads. There’s a bit of hostility in the book from one to another, dark times and all, who can you trust? It’s tense and people are trying to kill them, but they form a tight bond and that moved them toward cohesion and love.

On one of Ansyn’s expeditions he runs into Kaedon and Kaedon is good with his mouth~huh? huh? By now there’s freaking assassins ninjaeverywhere. Ansyn’s one and so’s Kaedon, the difference being Ansyn has always been on the king’s side and Kaedon was working for the queen. It seems to be all cool though, Kaedon says he shares the queen hate as much as the others because it’s really Inea’s kingdom and she taxes the people harshly and treats them like her personal ant colony. There’s some division first off in the loose camp they form~ Caday is loyal to Inea and I was a big fan of Caday from the start and thought he would be with Inea but it’s probably better he isn’t. Ansyn and  Kaedon form a closeness first but things change in the progression of the story and the 3 of them come together in a menage. Oh and I almost forgot Amalee, she is one sassy healer wench who’ll throw a pot at people *cough cough Ansyn* because she’s loyal to Inea first and because she likes to tell it like it is. She’d slap them around if they got all dramatic too.

King’s Lament got better as parts of the story drew together and they built an army of believers and supporters. While it’s true Inea could be grinding in the beginning because he’s 17 and has a lot of growing up to do, which he does, he became stronger and a true believer in himself, and honey, that’s the best kind of believer there is!

 

King’s Lament got better as parts of the story drew together and they built an army of believers and supporters. While it’s true Inea could be grinding in the beginning because he’s 17 and has a lot of growing up to do, which he does, he became stronger and a true believer in himself, and honey, that’s the best kind of believer there is!


The following snap is because I’m truly devoted to Ben Barnes. You’re welcome. 

princes-with-swords

“She won’t live long. And she won’t conquer anyone else. This is my kingdom. My lands! My throne! I will take it back.” I clapped so hard when Inea said that, but I gotta tell you that the queen is the Terminator in battle and all with skillz that killz.gif-the-terminator-hand

The language King’s Lament is written in is more of a modern one with 2 POV throughout~ Inea and Ansyn. It’s simple to read and I see it as a young adult 16+ to adult fantasy. The sex isn’t uber graphic, IMHO, mebe I’m desensitized but most teenagers know about or see sex somewhere else. Sorry parentals, your kids are already up to speed. There’s romancing between the 3 main characters, when they stop butting heads, so people have to be AOK with threeway lovin.  Yes, honies, there’s a coming together of heads in more ways than one: Hadn’t Inea said something a lot like that? That he didn’t want to have to choose just one? Did that mean… all of us? It wasn’t something I’d really heard of before.
It does mean all of them, why choose one when you don’t have to?: Curled protectively between them, I sighed heavily before I leaned and kissed Ansyn’s cheek first then Kaedon’s. “I love you. Both of you,” I said. Comfortable, I closed my eyes and let myself drift off.

 

This book is an uncomplicated and fun but longish book. It doesn’t take itself mega seriously with laughs and bitchy moments, hello, suggesting a proposal to snap the other one in the menage and redecorating the king’s rooms. There’s fantasy and a dark ages feel to it, only with assassins, with some battles and fighting and town travelling. Ansyn can sure wield a knife, and Kaedon too, and the supporters get a workout at the end. Roles between characters shift, new characters become important, and a lot of emotion spills over on the page~these guys get more than misty eyes, and they can bicker, but they love hard, too. 

 

I’d recommend King’s Lament for gay fantasy romance readers from mid teens on who want something sweeping but uncomplicated and fun.

Little & Lovable.

Why Love Matters - Jay Northcote

Awww. This book. So fun. Don't we all need to go to a hippie commune to overcome our fear of touch and fuck our assitant? Mebe that's my dream. Huh. No matter, we should give it a try at least once in our life. Alistair got to do that with Martin, his assistant, so Alistair could handle the Italian meeting for his daddy's company~ the Italians are huggers, and those kisses on the cheeks, lovely but scary if you aren't cool with the personal space bubble being assailed.  

 

Oh and so good, these guys aren't that butch type, thank you JHC!, they're ordinary guys doing ordinary things with some spice, you have to have spice so it isn't boring, and that meant I was ensnared.

 

To be real, I know how hard it is to let people into your space, give me room FFS, give me room, so I glommed on to Alistair's character and cheered Martin's, that smart cookie, and i was clapping with all parts of me when they explored closeness together. Personal winning!  

 

Cute, Hot, Sweet. Realz Feelz.  

Dead Camp 1 sucks in the best way.

Dead Camp 1 - Sean Kerr

I finished this in October, I'm a lazy SOB, so I'm writing this by memory. Bare with me. Oh boy, this has it all. Vampires, a fab ghost, demons, a fab angel, Queen Victoria, opium dens, WW2, Nazi Germany, this version of Hitler, a beautiful castle, humour, it's a bit cheeky sometimes, and love. Not simple love, pssh, that would be too boring. Yay :)  Oh my god~ Phew!

  

"Just saying, me being a vampire and all, just thought..."

"That you might fancy a quick suck?" He said it with such deadpan seriousness that for a moment I didn't know if he was serious or not. 

 

Epic story. Recommend. Recommend. Recommend. 

 

 

 

Someone hold me & hand me the whole tissue box.

Weight of the World - Devon McCormack, Riley Hart

I need a hug and Kleenex. This lady's makeup is running down his soggy face.

 

Zack, Tommy and Rob. And Bill. Bill isn't in this book. He wasn't ever a character, except he had a lot of character. He was my friend. I'll always remember their names, the characters in Weight of the World and my friend Bill.

 

How come?

 

Bill committed suicide, I saw him the day before he died. I saw him the day he died. He seemed fine. He even seemed happy. He didn't mean to hurt us because that wasn't who Bill was. I'm sure of it. But you aren't ever sure about your feelings after someone commits suicide and so I understand why Zack and Tommy were scared and feeling guilt. It's natural. Is the sex natural? Yeah. It can make you feel alive when other things hurt too much. 

 

This book hurt but helped. I cried. I laughed. I told Zack and Tommy that they needed to be together and make it. That's what Rob would have wanted.

Harry Styles walks into a bar and picks up me. Le sigh.

Perfect Imperfections - Cardeno C.

Like Isaac Mizrahi would say, "this is divine,dahling." 

 

Imagine some super music star coming into your bar, in my fantasy it's Harry Styles, or maybe Jared Leto I'm not picky, and you end up going on tour with him to be his friend and keep him calm, which turns into the sexy kinda stuff you've had wet dreams about since puberty. Mebe that's just me. Anyways, that's the 411 on this book. I'm in luv with Reg and Jeremy. I'll take both of them. I've got stamina, honey, yes I do. ;)